I’m Running Out of Time…

We're meant to know what we are doing by now, to have it figured out, to be married with children, a cosy home a smile on our face and spare cash in our pocket. Did you ever wake up and wonder how did I get here? Maybe you have all of those things, but it still somehow doesn’t feel enough.

For a long time I always felt like I was running out of time. This unexplainable urgency that I wasn’t on the right track, something felt missing. I always thought I would be doing something that felt meaningful to me. I had a great job that I was good at, I was respected, I earnt good money, I had plenty of friends. But this urgency. I’m running out of time. What was it? I decided that where I was didn’t feel right. I threw in the towel and moved to Australia in 2013. Still this deep emptiness, dissatisfaction yet I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Now that I look back my eyes were dull – there was no sparkle of life in my eye, I had no purpose. I remember seeing people talking about following their dreams. I scoffed, pfftt what even is that? that’s not actually real, I don’t even have a dream. Part of me thought it was stupid, but part of me was jealous that I didn’t have one. I didn’t know what my dreams or passions were, so I decided to start with focusing on what I loved doing, reading and talking about. I spent an afternoon creating a vision board by carefully cutting out the words “Find your passion”. I pegged this up above the dining table, right in the middle of the house and I continued to add to it for the next two years. Little did I know that I was actually creating a compass to who I was always meant to be, a compass to who I really am, to who I am now.

What was really missing all that time – was ME. Somewhere along the line as I’m sure many of you have also experienced, I became ashamed of who I was, I hid her away and barely even got to know her. It was easier (or was it? now that I look back) to fade into the background, to blend in with what everyone else was doing. It was only through the most emotionally distraught years of my life when I felt like I had nobody else that I really bothered to listen to HER. Once I started listening, I realised she knew where to go, she took my hand and led me out.

I personally believe that alot of depression and anxiety stems from a disconnection to who you really are at your core. A disconnection to what you truly, really deeply care about, the things that drive you, your purpose. You have forgotten what joy is. Or perhaps you’ve never met it, if you’ve never met truest yourself.

It hasn’t been an easy ride, for my old self, or who I had been up until that point had to unravel. I had to listen to and learn all of the ways I had learnt to hide. I taught myself to paint, I started to write and I started to move toward my own light. I taught myself how to be courageous and the more I got to know myself and what I loved, the more I knew the way. I never knew how lost I was, until I knew what it felt like to be truly home.

I have known desperation, I have known lost, empty and panic. Yet now I know belonging, found, full and joy. My why, my passion, my dream – is to help you (using all the things that I love and have done for myself) to hear your own truth, to connect you to who you really are at your core. To inspire you to heal from all the things that kept you from yourself and made you feel like you had to hide. To show you that what made you feel weak, like you weren’t strong enough or deserving enough isn’t real.

I am here to mirror to you, your own truth. Why? Because when we know the truth of who we are, we make a difference in our own individual and unique way. This world/planet/ society is fucked up. We need as many people as possible, awake, in their purpose, in their sovereign power, in their dharma so that we have a shit show of chance to change the way this world is heading.

It doesn’t matter what you love, or who you are, what matters is that you know for yourself who that is, and have the courage to live your life being true to yourself. To see people disconnected from their truth, to not know who they are or what they want and deserve hurts for I know the depth of that emptiness and I know it doesn’t have to be that way. This life can be so much greater then you currently know.

I deserve a life that I am passionate about, that gives me that sparkle in my eye. A life that gives me satisfaction, that feels meaningful. A life that I am proud to live. I am courageous. I am strong. I am proof that it can be done. If I can do it. You can do it. If I deserve it, you deserve it too.

I can’t change the world on my own, but I can change my own world. You can change yours. We can create change, one person at a time. My why is to support and inspire you through my page, reiki workshops, coaching and any other way I learn along the way as I continue on my own journey. If you’re ready to rise, send me a message and ask about my current 1:1 coaching containers and let’s get started!

Thank you for being here with me on this magical journey – I love and appreciate every single one of you!