Setting Boundaries

When you have co-dependent tendencies, you think that laying a boundary means you will be abandoned. It keeps you stuck in this cycle of abandoning yourself in order to please those around you. The truth is, the person you first need to lay boundaries with is yourself. You must determine and get clear on what you need.

Ask yourself – if I had it all my way, I would/wouldn’t…

Example: A friends invited you out for dinner with a bunch of the girls and you really don’t want to go. It’s been a big week and actually what you feel like is a bath, an early night and some space. You reluctantly say yes and go anyway. The next day you wake up having spent more money than you could afford and a chesty cough that’s come to fruition after trying to fight it off all week. You should have listened to your body and said thanks but no thanks.

So, what’s really true for you right now? What do you need to say no to? It is now up to you to communicate or take action in order to meet your own needs. That is what building a relationship with yourself is. Every time you say yes, when deep down you mean no, you reinforce the message that your needs aren’t important. Over time this results in deep neglect of self and keeps you stuck in a cycle affirming low self-esteem and self-worth.

Every relationship starts with you and how you treat yourself. 

If you identify as being co-dependent (either currently or in your previous relationships) and want support in order to feel more secure, confident and free to be loved for who you really are without the emotional chaos, book a 30min coaching session to get started on your healing journey - book now.

Alternatively, boundaries is one of the the topics we explore in The Creative Soul Sanctuary Membership as part of the “Temple of Truth” module (throat chakra). You can learn more about the membership here.